Sun, 30 Nov 2008
Fear of an Early Death
It all started a week before Thanksgiving when Joyce, the woman who cuts my hair notice that a small lump on the back of my head had gotten bigger. So I went to see a doctor about it, whi said, "This will have to come out," and sent me on to a surgeon. All the while the lump on my head was getting bigger and harder and I was getting more and more worried. My mind was ping ponging beween, "it's just a cyst" and "it's cancer." When I told the surgeon about the lump, he immediately went to feel the lymph nodes on my neck and scheduled me for surgery the next mrning, the Saturday after Thanksgiving. So I spent a sleepless night—what was it going to be, cyst or cancer? Well, it was only a cyst, an infected sebaceous cyst. The surgeon numbed the area in back of my head with a local anesthetic, cu the lump open and sucked out the contents with a little vacuum cleaner. There was an amazing amount of pus. He also cut out a small wart above my eyebrow and held it up like a trophy to show me. So I was sent home with a prescription for painkillers and antibiotics, relieved to know I would live another day.
Sat, 29 Nov 2008
Saved by Achi
I asked Drupon Thinley Nyingpo the following question during one of his teachings and got rewarded with a personal story.
Q: Is meeting the deity face to face just a metaphor?
A: No. In 1970 the Chinese restricted travel so that the Tibetans could not travel from city to city. When Chetsang Rinpoche was escaping to India, he came to a mountain pass. It was covered by snow and ice, so it was uncrossable. There was a huge crevasse he couldn't cross and he couldn't return or he would be imprisoned. He decided to pray to Achi and then he would turn back to return to Tibet. He turned around and took a few steps back and then turned around. He saw a woman at the top of the pass. When he turned around the crevasse had disappeared. And when he arrived at where the woman was, she had disappeared. Likewise a Nyingma khenpo, Jigmed Phuntsok, visited Drikung Til, the chief Drikung monastery in Tibet. At a shrine devoted to Achi. he saw Achi in front of him and described her to his attendants. They didn't see her clearly, but saw something. There are endless instances like this. In my own case, I have not seen the protectors face to face, but I have seen by practicing your mind can be protected from the wrong path in an instant. When I was going to Lhasa the car I was in was owned by a friend from my village. Although I have eight sisters and brothers, this friend is closer to me than my brothers and sisters. We were getting in the car and I had recited prayers to Achi that morning before the long trip. I didn't want to get in my friend's car for some reason. So I rode with my other friend. My first friend got angry and said why would you do something so stupid. Normally I would never have done this. So I went in my other friend's car. MY first friend's car rolled over and everyone except the driver died in the crash. So even not having seen the protectors, the end result was the same.
Thu, 27 Nov 2008
Footprints in the Snow
The holidays always give me more chance to read and one book I've recently read is the Venerable Shang Yen's (VSY) autobiography, "Footprints in the Snow." VSY is a Chinese Buddhist teacher who is very well known in Taiwan. He founded Dharma Drum monastery in Taiwan, which emphasizes the study of Buddhist philosophy. He also led the Chan Center in New York for some year, which is where I first heard of him. I liked the book. But let's face it, most people don't lead interesting lives and that's especially true of Buddhist monks. If you have an interest in VSY, you will also find his autobiography interesting. But if not, no.
Here's my retelling of his first kensho experience. Shortly before leaving the Chinese mainland, he joined the army of the Republic of China and remained a soldier for a number of years. During a leave from the army he visited a monastery. He was assigned sleeping quarters along with a Chinese monk, Master Lingyuan. They sat together in meditation for a while and then VSY laid down to sleep. He woke up after a while and saw the master was still meditating. He started asking Master Lingyan all the questions that were bothering him. Would he be able to become a monk? What should he study? And many more. Instead of answering, after each question, the master would only say, "Do you have any more questions?" Finally, the master hit the wooden platform they were sitting on hard and shouted, "Put it all down!" Suddenly VSY's mind snapped and he felt like a great weight had been lifted from him.
Wed, 26 Nov 2008
Desire for Enlightenment
Here's my answer to a question about whether it's wrong to desire enlightenment.
Desire is an ever present aspect of our lives and it does no good to deny it intellectually. This would only add another layer of pretense on top of our behavior. Generally speaking, desire s only abandoned by seeing it clearly, first as merely an imputation added to reality in an arbitrary way, and second as a source of problems and not benefits. The usual example is a man feeling fear when seeing a rope and thinking it's a snake.
So where we start from is that we constantly desire and the only way to remove it is to replace a coarse desire with a more refined desire. The desire to practice is less coarse as long as your motivation is sincere. Sincere means you are not practicing for some worldly goal. The desire for enlightenment is a desire, but it is less coarse than the desire for wealth or status.
Since it is a desire, it must be eliminated eventually. But this happens after one gains a small understanding of how things are. At that point one sees things are complete just as they are. Seeing this, desire for something more than what is already present becomes an obstacle and deviation from the truth. But there is no benefit in acting as if this is so before one sees it, for that would only be a pretense.
Until one sees the truth one should treat the desire for enlightenment like any other desire. Don't try to strengthen it or deny that you have it. Just be aware of it.
Tue, 25 Nov 2008
Tibeto Logic
Tibeta Logic is a rather quirky blog by a Tibetan scholar. The quirkiness is mostly in the choice of subject. I was intrigued by this collecction of animal metophors by Paldampa Sangye together with a commentary by one of his students. This is not your standard dharma text, it's just a little bit strange, as these excerpts show.
Unable to go anywhere, the turtle in the brass basin tires itself out.
Commentary:Unable to go -- If you place a turtle in a brass basin, it tries to climb out, but at the very first step it loses its footing. Likewise, no matter how high or low something may appear, the mind never moves from its empty nature. It falls back on it.
What need for the duel of the bat and the hyena? You tell me.
Commentary:The bat and the hyena had a duel. The bat was more mobile, while the hyena had greater strength, they say. Likewise, even though you have the guru's precepts, you might lack determination, so what is required is mastery of both precepts and determination.
Mon, 24 Nov 2008
Khenchen in Chicago
Khenchen Konchog Rinpoche will be teaching in Chicago next weekend, teaching on a new text he has written on the three levels of vows in Tibetan Buddhism. More informtion on the weekend can be found on the Chicago Ratnashri Blog. Khenchen has been in India and I haven't heard of any other teaching engagements he has planned.
Forty years ago the Catholic monk Thomas Merton made a trip to India and nearby countries. He died during the trip, eloctrocuted by the faulty wiring in an electric fan. The diary he kept during the trip was later edited and published as The Asian Journal of Thomas Merton. Two blogs commemorate his visit. Merton in Asia is blogging what happened each day forty years ago. And Donald Grayston recounts his visit to Asia in 2000, where he retraced the travels of Thomas Merton. The most moving part is his account of his interview with Chatral Rinpoche. This is the second time I've posted an account of someone being moved by Chatral Rinpoche's presence. He must have a powerful blessing.
Chadral was seated, cross-legged on a cushion (astonishing to me for someone 90 years old), on a dais under a canopy and a big tree--grown, as I later learned, from a cutting made of the current bo tree at Bodh Gaya, itself the descendant of the tree under which the historical Buddha experienced his enlightenment. I stood in front of him, with Konchok to my left as my interpreter. After some ritual preliminaries, including the ingesting of something that looked very much like 10/30 motor oil, a granular substance called mendrup, which was described to me a "the medicine of immortality," and a slap on the cheek to assist my awakening, I was ready to ask my first question: "What do you remember of your conversation with Thomas Merton?" Chadral spoke for three or four minutes, with Konchok translating. While he was speaking, I suddenly became aware that from the moment our eyes had met, I had been silently weeping. So when he finished his response to my first question, I dumped (le mot juste) the remaining nine Merton questions, and asked the question which Konchok had suggested to me the day before: "Do you have a teaching for me?" "Yes," he said. "Decide for yourself what is the most important thing that Jesus ever said, and then take it as far as you can." At this point my weeping turned to sobbing, and after a ritual parting, Konchok and his fellow student, Heidi Nevin, led me away and gave me tea and kleenex. "Does this happen often?" I asked. "All the time," was their reply.
Sun, 23 Nov 2008
The Importance of Ritual
Reaching back into my notes, here's something that Khenpo Tsultrim once explained from the teaching of Jigten Sumgo that's stuck with me. Some people argue that ritual practices are for people who haven't understood the ultimate meaning and that those who have can dispense with them. Khenpo Tsultrim explains why this is not so.
The next statement says all elaborations are of the nature of interdependence. The word is prapancha, which can also denote complexity. The term includes not only conceptual thought, but also ritual. Being free of elaboration is a higher state than having elaborations. So it's said by some that disciples with higher faculties aren't wrapped up in performing complex practices. But the previous statement denied that. But shouldn't disciples with higher faculties be free of complexities? That's the doubt that this statement addresses. Remember the five awakenings. It's a complex or elaborate practice. You can say this practice is for students with dull faculties. Disciples with sharp faculties can get blessings and then the understanding will arise spontaneously. Some people say complex practices are interpretable and not the final meaning. But that's not the case. The commentary says that all dharmas originate interdependently out of the dharmata. So there is a relation between phenomena and emptiness. Being involved with phenomena through ritual is a positive thing, because it gives you more opportunity to see the ultimate meaning. Some people say rituals are only of interpretable meaning. But because of interdependence, with understanding the correct view, practicing rituals is an expression of the ultimate meaning. The distinctive characteristic of secret mantra is the inner, outer, and secret worlds are identical. Many of the processes undergone are the same. The five awakenings are homologous with the five kinds of birth. Look at the outer world and consider how it comes to be. Upon space the wind mandala arises, and then upon this the fire, water, and earth mandalas arise. And on top is Mount Meru. Likewise our bodies arise in the same way. From our toes to our hips is the wind mandala. The genitals are the fire mandala. The torso below the diaphragm is the water mandala. The torso above the diaphragm is the earth element. The head is like Mount Meru. So we can see the homology. Understanding that stratification of the elements, we can apply that to the generation stage of the deity: First emptiness, then the moon seat, sun seat, seed syllable, the body of deity, and the implements of deity. The explanation of how the three worlds are identical is an explanation of interdependence. When engaging in practice you are engaging in the definitive meaning. Jigten Sumgon is using elaboration, a loaded term, and equating it with interdependence, which is the ultimate meaning.
Sat, 22 Nov 2008
Movie Quote
"I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me...but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold onto it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life."
Thu, 20 Nov 2008
Instructions on Mahamudra
Here are some instructions on mahamudra practice by Ponlop Rinpoche. They come from my notes at a seminar he taught at KTD, called "Wild Awakening."
Milarepa said by looking nakedly you will see the nature you will see simplicity, like space. But what happens after you look nakedly? According to Milarepa, you rest freely and utterly upon the naked looking. If there are kleshas you rest nakedly on looking at the kleshas. Looking nakedly and resting freely. How do you rest when you rest freely? If you ask how do you rest, you relax, you loosen up. These three points are important: look nakedly, rest freely, and relax by loosening up. These three are very important. You don't need to push this mind aside and look somewhere else. Not only looking but resting in that nature is very important. We look for a good place to rest but we never find it. There is no perfect place or time to rest. According to a Sufi story, a man was looking for a perfect wife. He found the perfect wife, but she wouldn't marry him, because he wasn't the perfect man. If you are looking for perfect mind you will never find it. If you think this mind is not good enough, you must find one better. And then your time is up. Instead of doing that, rest directly and don't look for any other place to rest. Rest directly means to rest in what is immediately present. Like someone who has done a hard day's work. At the end you are ready to rest. You just flop on the floor. You don't care what floor looks like, you flop wherever you can and just relax. Relaxing is most important in mahamudra meditation. All the meditation instructions always say rest, relax. I don't know how we misunderstood. In mahamudra it is taught throughout the best relaxation is the best realization, through inferior relaxation, one has inferior meditation. Then anything is possible. If mind is relaxed, anything is possible. If the mind is not relaxed nothing is possible. The simplest movement of yoga is difficult if you are not relaxed. If we use these three instructions: looking nakedly, resting freely and relaxing at ease that is all we need to do to recognize the nature of mind.
It doesn't need to take long. Look again and again, rest again and again, and relax again and again. Whenever a big emotion arises, just look nakedly. Rest and relax. Milarepa said when meditating on mahamudra do so repeatedly for short periods (in little bits, like bite sized.) When people prolong a mahamudra session., they wind up with nothing. It's important that the period be short enough that all the elements are present. When you see a little drop of water dropping on same spot, you will see it destroys a solid rock. A potent meditation practiced again and again will destroy the solid rock of ego. If you throw a bucket water on the rock occasionally, it will just polish the rock. Ego will shine more clearly, but nirvana will be gone. But if you constantly drip a drop, one day it will destroy the rock of ego. When you sit this afternoon, try these three things. Do a little shamatha, then look nakedly, then rest and relax. Don't prepare to much. Just do it. When thought arises, look at it nakedly. If an emotion arises, look at it. If mind gets too distracted, return to breathing. If you find the nature of mind, you will find enlightenment.
Fri, 14 Nov 2008
Traga's Two Truths
Since I wrote about the two truths yesterday from my own limited understanding, I thought it would be good to quote what Traga Rinpoche had to say on the subject when he visited Washington in September.
Buddha taught beings of different capacities through the three turnings of the wheel of dharma. All are based on the teachings of relative and ultimate truth. In Tibetan the word relative literally means "all false." What appears to us as real is unreal. All that seems permanent is not. This is what is meant by false. Seeing this falsity is the truth and is what is meant by relative truth. Anything within in the domain of confused mind is relative truth.
Ultimate truth is the original nature, which is the dharmadhatu, the suchness of phenomena. It is referred to as emptiness, mahamudra, or mahasandhi, the perfect nature. It is realized only by the noble ones. It is the self aware primordial wisdom. It is beyond the domain of thought, inexpressible, and incomprehensible. It cannot be expressed through speech, shown, pointed to, or demonstrated. The body cannot touch it, the speech express it, or mind think of it. It is known only by discerning the primordial wisdom. There is no duality of subject and object in it. It is inseparable appearance-emptiness. This emptiness is the dharmadhatu, the base of all phenomena. When it is realized, there are no concepts or kleshas. All impurities have been eliminated. But also there is no wisdom.
Thu, 13 Nov 2008
Relativity
The attitude that there's no difference between friend and enemy only can come from an understanding of emptiness. So here's a short explanation. One analogy often used for emptiness is a rainbow. A rainbow is only seen under certain specific circumstances. The light of the sun must be refracted through raindrops and a person must be standing in the right position to see the rfracted light. There is no rainbow apart from this combination of sun, rain, and person. Searching for the end of the rainbow, as if the rainbow had some existence apart from these circumstances, is a traditional example of a fool's quest. What we don't see is that all phenomena arise in dependence and have no independent existence. They are all like rainbows, but foolishly we act as if they have an independence that they don't.
No person is an enemy in and of themselves. The person who is an enemy to you is a friend to someone else. Enmity is a relation between two people, just as a rainbow only exists as a relation between sun, rain, and observer. To treat a relation as if it were an inherent property of one of the terms of the relation is as deluded as taking a rainbow as real. There are no friends and enemies. It's how we choose to act to others, and they to us, that creates a sense of friendship or enmity. And actions are gone as soon as they are performed. They are like tracing a line with a stick through water.
Everything that arises in dependence on other factors has no inherent existence. Emptiness is just another name for this absence of inherent existence. So emptiness is synonymous with dependence on causes and conditions. And since everything arises from causes and conditions, everything is empty. What arises from cuases is relative truth. The emptiness of these phenomena is ultimate truth. And since the two are a unity, the two truths are also a unity. Emptinese does not contradict how things appear in the world, it is only the antidote for our mistaken understanding of how they exist.
So there is no independently existing friend or enemy and no independent good or bad circumstances. Appreciating this we can release our clinging and revulsion towards them and adopt the attitude I wrote about yesterday.
Wed, 12 Nov 2008
Friend or Foe
The purpose of Buddhism is the elimination of suffering. We suffer for two reasons. First, we divide the original wholeness of experience into a duality. And second, we layer feelings of attachment and aversion on top of that duality. It is deluded to think that one can divide the world into friend and foe and then go to the meditation hall and attain enlightenemnt. The enlightenment one is seeking is nothing other than to have gratitude for whatever circumstances arise, be they pleasant or unpleasant, and to have impartial love for all persons. True meditation cannot be threatened by adverse circumstances since it takes these circumstances as fuel for meditation. When you see this, no person, whatever they may do to you, is your enemy and everyone is your friend. Your friend is your friend because they help you and your enemy is also your friend because they show you where you are still attached, so they help you in another way. This is not the practice of a beginner, but one can aspire to it. There is no end to acting from within a dualistic attitude with the idea that one needs to set the world right. There will always be another situation that needs to be set right before one can practice properly. And the disturbed mind that always chases after an imagined future when things will be better will never know satisfaction. It takes a different sort of courage to look at the many difficulties of life without flinching, but as the Dhammapada says, better than the conquest of a thousand enemeies is the conquest of oneself.
Sat, 08 Nov 2008
Buddhist Alchemy
Here's an excerpt from an old talk by Traleg Rinpoche on mahamudra.
Naturalness is what mahamudra is all about. It's not what arises that is important it is how it arises and seeing how it arises. Mind is playing so many games and it always tricks us. We don't have worry about others tricking us. We are always tricking ourselves. We're always thinking this is real. Our fixation on our own experience is what keeps us from prospering. We have to embrace life. We have to embrace whatever life gives us, whether it is good or bad, constricting or liberating. Otherwise we are in denial. We have to be vividly present with our experience. When you do this, you have the mahamudra experience. Otherwise you will be so judgmental. "I'm so pure, don't come near me." Everything we experience in life we have to transform as a liberating spiritual experience. If we really see it properly, see its nature, it will be a liberating experience.
In life we think we have to achieve something, to become someone. Here it's not trying to become somebody. It is being without fixation. Let whatever arises in your mind be without fixation or clinging to this or that. The notion of letting go is very important. Nothing is evil as far as far as the buddhas are concerned, everything is good. Letting go is the essence of the teaching. Desire, anger, and attachment are not bad things. It is how we deal with them that is important. Even if you live in a cave you have the desire to live in a cave. Whatever you experience has to be seen as self-liberated. Experiences don't have to be transformed, only seen as they are. If you don't think that way you become to harsh on yourself and others. We judge our teachers and ourselves and everything becomes unnecessarily complex. We have to practice. There is no doubt about it. But if you are aware when you practice, everything you experience will become something good.
Fri, 07 Nov 2008
Doctor Drupon
I suppose i should post again so my few readers don't think I was swallowed alive by a bear at the retreat. The group doing the retreat was small, eight people, including Drupon Thinley Nyingpo and his brother Lama Gyaltsen. Probably this was because doing the retreat meant taking vacation time. Also, the yidam we were practicing, Amitayus, is not particularly "sexy." But I was glad to do the practice so that I could dedicate the practice to Khenpo Karthar Rinpoche's long life. The practice went well, with not too much physical soreness and no more mental wandering than usual. But I did come down with a cold and was sniffling and blowing my nose a lot the first day. Drupon gave me some Tibetan medicine which made the cold go away. I haven't been impressed by Tibetan medicine in the past, but this experience changed my mind.
